Atrium is gone...

Yesterday is the last day of Atrium's life. I woke up in the afternoon as usual, let Atrium play with all his toys for the last time and told him that I enjoy taking care of him. Now I know that it is so painful to know someone important to you is going to die in a few hours time and its what you are planning for it to happen. Its cruel, but you have no choice...

As usual, I brought him to the vet again, this time already prepared to let him leave this world. I think the nurse there is getting very farmiliar with my face. She was like "consultation for your hamster?" before I can even say anything. Lol! This time, I finally saw people bringing hamsters to the vet, I always thought I was the only one.

Ok, its my turn, I went into the consultation room and the vet says: "You have 2 choices - put him to sleep or try another medication." I said "Atrium is getting sick and tired of taking medications and suffering, what's your advise?" The vet supported my decision and asked me to sign a form.

I went over to the counter and filled in the form. I filled in Atrium's particulars and chose cremation and have his ash placed in an urn and send it back to me. A male nurse brought me to a small room. He took Atrium from his cage and hold him still at his hand. I stroke Atrium's head for the last time. Then he poke the needle into Atrium's body and inject a blue liquid in. The sight of Atrium struggling from the pain of the needle really hurts. By the way, this process is painless, its only that the poking of the needle is painful.

Atrium ly on the table, staring at me and gasping for air. I told the nurse to get me a plastic bag for putting the cage in. While he was away to search for a plastic bag, I went over and used my finger to gently stroke Atrium's body as he was gasping for more air. Then, his breathing stops and he ly there motionless with his eye wide open. I feel so guilty and evil. Its like taking his only precious life away from him... But I have no choice, this is the kindest way I can do for him... And so I left the place and don't feel like doing anything else but to go home. Perpheps I will compose a song for him...

Lastly, I wanna thank Wendy for giving me this little creature for my birthday. Its the best gift I have ever had.

Rest in peace my dear Atrium... I will miss you =(


Died on 12-3-2007, Monday, 8.45pm.
From 1-6-2006.

Atrium will be back...